September 2009
54 posts
Tickets to a Charlotte Bobcats game, including a LYNX train ticket into uptown, are only $15. When I have a job, and I turn 21, I think I might become a Bobcats fan.
“Johnny was sittin’ on the fire escape watchin’ the kids...”
– Bruce Springsteen, Incident on 57th Street.
Government Man - Rhett Miller
You didn’t teach him to be killed, You taught him to kill An art in which he is less willing than skilled You will fuck him up royally just for a thrill, so Fuck you, Government Man.
He’s a real good kid but to you he’s a grunt, How many sorry young souls do you want? Well, a pat on the back and a year on the front Fuck em up, Government Man.
Why do you hate the troops...
“GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI)—Police in Florida said they arrested a man who broke...”
– This is why I fucking hate Florida.
have you ever seen a sight that makes you...
tiptoebitchrobot:
I just opened my TiVo to find five episodes of The Office for me to watch. :’).
How did you open it up? The torx screwdrivers are down here with me.
Watch
Bring DerrickComedy’s Mystery Team to Charlotte!
JOTW #4: Man and woman on an elevator.
Woman: Can I smell your balls?
Man: Of course not!
Woman: Oh, it must be your feet then.
Steak House Or Gay Bar? →
From an interview with Rhett Miller.
I’ve got a song right now that I’m really torn about what I’m going to do with. It’s called “Government Man” and I wrote it about a friend of mine who is in the service. He just got back from a year in Iraq and we’re afraid he’s going to get sent back. And he challenged me, “Well nobody’s writing songs about how they’re pissed off about this.” And the only way I could do it was to write a song to...
Mormons.
1: mormons dont fart
1: it's the underwear
2: not allowed
2: they hold it in all their lives
2: and right before they die, they can release it
2: to bring the ultimate pleasure before death
2: that's what makes Mormons Mormons
JOTW #3: Dumbest Joke Ever Week
1: What's brown and sticky?
2: Ew. What?
1: A stick.
Apologies to my Hispanic neighbors...
In my apartment complex there is one sprinkler that always sprays straight up and rains down on the drive. Every once in a while, there’s a Hispanic gentleman who repeatedly drives his car through the spray, back and forth, in both directions. The girl and I have termed this a “Mexican Car Wash”.
Hoefler & Frere-Jones →
I am addicted to the work these guys do. They’re the ones who designed the Obama campaign’s official typeface, Gotham (By the way, he had his own fucking typeface, and that’s why he won, I assure you). The latest font of theirs that’s driving me crazy is Archer, best known as the Wells Fargo typeface. I want to use their fonts in everything.
This is why you don't yell things at the POTUS.
The man running against Rep. Joe Wilson in 2010, Mr. Rob Miller, has raised almost three quarters of a million dollars since his incumbent dickbag opponent’s spectacular display of disrespect for both the President and the rules of Congress. That’s 7x what Mr. Miller raised in his entire campaign in 2008. With only $100,000, Mr. Miller garnered 46% of the vote.
I’m going down...
Because I am an affable Greek, I talked about being Greek with the Greek lady who runs a great diner down the street. Because I am an adorable Greek, she gave us two free tickets to the Yiasou Greek Festival.
A gyro, four tiropitas, a Coke (surprisingly not Pepsi), two baklava, and a loaf of village bread to take home. All for under $20. So awesome, Charlotte. You win.
“First Lady Michelle Obama, seated behind and above Wilson, seemed to mouth a...”
– HuffPo (HAHAHAHA OH MAN)
“After the speech, Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff who was seated a...”
– NYT (You fuck him up, Rahm. -P)
“A dog says, “You feed me - You must be a god.”
A cat says,...”
– Totally stupid quote.
The new iPod nano has a video camera built in. So, for $149, you get an iPod and a Flip camera together in a pretty glass and aluminum package.
The guys at Flip just shit their pants.
WatchI hate “Two and a Half Men”.
“Do onto others as you would have done undo you.”
– Sign on a church, U.S. 29.
JOTW #2: Yes, I'm really doing these once a week.
Two old couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back.
Husband 1: Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too.
Husband 2: We should all go sometime! What was the name of the restaurant?
Husband 1: Oy. I'm getting so fuzzy-minded. I'm thinking... it's the name of a flower...
Husband 2: Daisy? Petunia?
Husband 1: No, no. It's a red flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?
Husband 2: You mean rose?
Husband 1: Yes, yes, that's it! Rose. Hey, Rose. What was the name of the restaurant we ate at last night?
“First, you got to scoop your hand into the huge bowl of ground meat, onion,...”
– My aunt Georgia, recalling the process of making Dolmades with her grandmother (my great-grandmother).
a woman with a walking stick just walked by me.
tiptoebitchrobot:
like one you would get at a national park or a museum gift shop or something. a straight up STAFF.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS.
REBLOG AND CHANGE ALL OF THE VOWELS IN YOUR NAME...
tiptoebitchrobot:
titanics:
1997:
firecrackers:
triphop:
ALUSUN
SURU
JUCKUU
NUCULU
ULUNU.
PUTU
“Tell it to the radio, tell it to the television.
They are not listening, they...”
– Singular Girl (Old 97’s)
